Personally, I hate rules…for any reason. Yet I realize that for your safety, welfare, and your enjoyment and those that follow you here at “Roger’s Retreat”, some guidelines need to be honored. In my 25+ years of lake experience, I have seen a lot of things go wrong, and a lot of vacations disappointed. Over the years of learning, mostly by making the mistakes myself, I offer these guidelines that I ask you to follow while you are here in hopes of sheltering you from anything but a wonderful time:

1. There is no smoking at “Roger’s Retreat”. While I come from a family of chain smokers, I and everyone must refrain from smoking while inside the house. The reason is simple…”allergies”. Perhaps you know some one affected by second hand smoke or it might even affect you. I do not want to eliminate any one from having a chance to stay here. Smoking is allowed outside, do not flick ashes or throw buts over the railing or in the yard. A smoldering ash can turn the dry leaves into a blaze before you know it.
   
   

2. There are no pets allowed at all on the property. This one hurts me too. I had a Siberian Husky for 16 years, and she was part of the family, but the pets must stay at home. Quite simply, people have allergies, and I want to offend no one nor do I want to eliminate any one from enjoying their stay here.
   
   

3. Fire places & wood stoves are off limits. You would not believe what it costs in terms of insurance to have a wood stove or fire place. I had to promise my insurance agent they would not be used…just to get a renter’s policy. So please, I must insist that you do not use them…or I may lose my insurance and my house.
   
   

4. Keep an eye on the little people. The lake is a world of wonder for little people, but it is also dangerous for them as well. Make sure you know where they are at all times. Especially around the water. The water at the dock is over 10 feet deep, and little feet tend to wander that way. Also, please be aware that the rails between the deck are not child proof. It is very easy for a child playing on the deck to slip between the railings. Never leave children unattended. Please, this is one of my biggest concerns.
   
   

5. Remember where you are. And that is you are in rural mountain land near a body of water. What that means is there are critters everywhere. Some need to be avoided. Please do not walk in the Juniper creeper outside the basement patio and along the stair case. All kinds of critters may be livin’ there…none of whom you would want to meet. This is true of any vegetation around water anywhere. Please stay on the steps and stones provided. A word about the stone steps…I try to keep them cemented, but moisture keeps working on them. Please be careful using them, and by all means use the hand rails. However, do not slide your hands along the rails. After all they are made of wood, and wood leaves splinters.
   
   

6. About the dock. The main thing is….enjoy it! Swim, fish (and the fishing is good), lounge and work on your tan, go crayfish watching over the side, tie your boat or other vessel up there. Just have a hoot! That is what being at the lake is all about. I gotta tell ya, watching the sunrise from the dock or deck is a treasured memory. Also, during the week end, you can watch an endless parade of boats go by all day. There are however a few things to remember. Since “Roger’s Retreat” is located on the main channel of Smith Mountain Lake, boat traffic can be heavy at certain times of the day. And that means waves (wake) rolling to the dock. Be aware that the water can be choppy sometimes when around the dock. Swimming is cool; just do not go out too far. Again, parents, watch the little people here…they should not be let alone. The boat lift is off limits for a couple of reasons. First, it is a safety issue. Second, I use it for my boat, and I reserve the right to come down and launch it when I can. I will always check in with you first to make sure I don’t just walk through your vacation. That is the only time you will see me, and the only reason I would come to “Roger’s Retreat” during your stay. I will try my best to respect your privacy. Please be aware that the water is over 10 feet deep there. Please watch the little feet edging the dock, I strongly recommend life vests and no diving please.
   
   

7. Please, no drinks or sitting on the pool table. Pool is a passion of mine. I use to make a fair living at it. And for any of you guys who know what I mean…it provides great bonding. Plus it helps pass a rainy day. But a stained pool table looks trashy and affects the roll of the balls…as does sitting on one end of the table. Please, I should have enough chairs downstairs for every one. And also be aware of where your pool stick tip is at all times. I prefer my ceilings with out holes, thank you, and everyone wants to leave with the same number of eyes and vision he came with.
   
   

8. You’re gonna love the surround sound theater. If you follow the instructions provided, you will be amazed at the sound quality and realism. Please bring or rent locally your DVDs. (upstairs TV has DVD and VHS format). Great rainy day or evening fun!
   
   

9. Enjoy the play station 2. I gotta admit that I’m no threat to any of you video players. Still it is fun. Please remember to bring your own game cartridges or rent them locally. I have two controllers.
   
   

10. If you hear a rumble in the downstairs bathroom…I really have fun with this one! When you use water in the downstairs bathroom, sometimes the whole room shakes. Not to worry! I have a large pump up system that I had to install when I built the bottom bath, to pump the waste to the septic. It’s OK…
    
    

11. Please, no illegal products or activities are allowed at “Roger’s Retreat”. I hope I don’t have to explain this. Let’s just say, I have no use for drugs in my world. I get high on just being there.
    
    

12. Please, don’t fix, repair, or mend anything. When people ask me if I can work with my hands, I tell them my hands are specialists and the best at what they can do...which is… finding something to eat and breaking stuff. I have a lot of people on my payroll that are there to take care of “Roger’s Retreat”. Please, no matter how simple it looks, or how easy it can be fixed…just don’t. This is a safety issue as well as need to know issue for me. If at any time during your stay, something looks or goes wrong, call the person who put you there…either the property manager or me (only if I put you there or there is an emergency 540-353-7779).
    
    

13. Finally, just use common sense. Watch the little people, be safe, and considerate, and enjoy to the max!